When my husband and I were expecting our third child, we joked about how we would be outnumbered. Little did we know it would not be funny when real. It has been a lot, on some days, to say the least but we can't imagine our lives without any one of our sweet babies.
I get these questions a lot in my dms, 'How do you manmage multiples during school hours?' 'How do you ensure each of them has enough quality time with you?' So I decided to outline this in my blog.
Tips for doing school with multiples at a young age (6,4,2)
1) Routines: I realise that when I expect the children to be engaged with school work, I need to have had them in their regular routine the previous day. If they had a late night, I can forget about school bing peaceful. It is likely that we would have lots of tears and reluctant learnning that day which I would have to be patient enough to push through with an overtired crying toddler in my lap. So we avoid this as much as possible and I try my best to keep them in routine over the weekends as well so our school time goes smoothly. If a Sunday has gone late into the night, we expect very little from school that day. I might do a few subjects with the oldest, skip school for the younger 2 and give the baby an early nap before lunch.
2) Breaks: Now when we think about the actual doing of school and managing the subjects while being outnumbered, I use diffrent break times for the kids. That means I get no breaks during school hours but they all do and at different times. I might do math with my 6 year old while my 4 year old takes a break and switch to a phonics and read aloud with my 4 year old while my 6 year old takes a break. They would usually play with the 2 year old in their break time or eat a snack. This helps me give each child individual attention while ensuring they get breaks between their subjects to hit refresh on that attention span and overcome vigilance detriment.
3) Independent work vs dependent work: Not all subjects are dependent work in our homeschool. All 3 of my children are trained to do some of their school activities independently. Of course they might take different durations to finish those but they do have independent work for them everyday.
Independent work for my 6 year old: Math (when the concept is in practice stage), Literature(when I ask her to read it aloud for a narration), Bible (silent reading for a narration), Science(reading for a journal entry, copy writing)
Independent work for my 4 year old: Writing, Painting, 'reading' books(looking at the pictures and making up her own stories)
Independent work for my 2 year old: Painting, transferring, water play, drawing in rava dabbas, playing in the garden.
In order to do the dependent work, I use their breaks alternately till school is done for the 4 year old after which the 4 year old and the 2 year old go play while I finish up with my 6 year old.
4) Toddler management: The toddler is not always interested in the activities I set up for her and it is too long a period to expect her to play independently too, so I do take short breaks from school to help her wash her hands, read a book to her, give her a snack, and whatever else she may need. If she wants me to do something with her that is time consuming, I have taught her to understand when Mumma says 'Ahna is doing school and Mumma needs to be with her'. So inevitably, she would ask me if she can help. And so emerged my mothers helper this academic year! She picks up pencils when they fall, tries to sharpen them when asked to(sometimes I just use this as busy work for her), gathers all the math blocks and puts them in their box, puts books and study aids back in the homeschool cart and just generally helps me with whatever needs done and she has the ability to do. When she can't do something, she will ask me if she can 'watch' (referencing my next blog on 'chores'). On days she is very tired though, she is in my lap a lot. Sometimes if I need my hands for school and my husband is home, she will sit in his lap while he works at the desktop (YES DESKTOP!) and she might doze off.
How do I give them each time in the day and enough attention?
Now while this is a good question, it is important to remember that the kind of attention each one needs is not the same. My 6 year old is content reading books in all her free time, playing with her sisters, baking me with a couple times a month and retelling to me what she read that day. She is happy to have conversations while I do things.
My 4 year olds needs a little more physical affection and from time to time will want to show me things, make me cards, come sit in my lap. So it isn't one big chunk of time but little moments here and there in the day.
My 2 year old does require me to carry her sometimes, hug her, cuddle with her and just do things with her. She is the youngest and still has a greater need for me which I am able to meet when she needs it. If their needs overlap, they know to put the baby sister above themselves. Both my girls take really good care of the baby and in return the baby also sometimes goes to them for hugs and comfort especially after falls. It is all very heartwarming to watch. At this stage of life, with how independent my girls are, I am not overwhelmed with how much time they each need from me. 2 years ago things were very different. I also have a chronic pain condition and can't always perform phyically with carrying them and doing a lot of things on pain days but the kids understand that when I verbalise it and they help each other out. They also give me little massages with their tiny hands. I think the tip here would be to train your children to be helpful, observant(habit training in the early years), and considerate. Verbalising the needs of the home and the parents also helps. We avoid making our whole lives about them. They live in the home too and they get to contribute in whatever ways they can.
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